How to raise a juvenile delinquent

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1.) Tell them if they don’t stop misbehaving you will punish them.. and then don’t, they will learn there are no consequences for their actions and only JAIL will teach them there is.

2.) Ask them no less than 10 times to do something or to stop doing something, they will quickly learn they don’t have to listen to you or “anyone” for that matter.

3.) Let them swear, talk back, hit adults, abuse animals, and be disorderly with nothing more than an obligatory smack and then give them a treat, start this from a young age so they will never respect anyone but the prison guards.

4.) Permit your child to run the house, if they want to watch TV all day, let them, if they don’t want to nap, don’t make them, if they don’t want to go to bed at bedtime, don’t make them; instead let them yell at you, kick you, and throw a tantrum!! That’s when you give in….this way they will know that they Really DO run the house and when they are older, they will run you too. Have FUN!

5.) If anyone DARE try to correct your child or teach them any manners at all, quickly put them in their place, after all, this is your future convict, not theirs!

6.) Never eat as a family, let the child(ren) eat in the living room while watching their favourite TV program or while on the computer.

7.) Join a social networking group such as facebook or myspace, play all the games they have to offer and ignore your children, to hell with helping the kids with their homework, who cares what they are getting into, it doesn’t matter if they are fighting or being destructive..What difference does it make? They are eventually going to end up incarcerated anyway!

8.) NEVER let the children join sports, they might learn to share, play as a team, and respect others. This is a big NO-NO.

9.) Do not teach them any responsibility for themselves, their toys, or actions. If a toy gets broke because they intentionally broke it, buy another one, after all they have a right to show anger too..if they disrespect an elder, who cares? That elder probably tried to teach them some manners..who needs that? If they hurt themselves because they were doing exactly what you had told them not to..Cuddle them and give them a lolly, after all, it is much easier than explaining why they were hurt to begin with, isn’t it? There will be plenty of opportunity for them to explain their actions to a judge someday..

10.) Tell them that they have to take a nap and when they scream NO at you, offer them a treat instead.

11.) Last but not least, be sure that on those rare occasions you discipline your child..Mainly because they are inconveniencing you, that you promptly apologise for it and give them lollies, they aren’t to understand that you aren’t capable of raising a child..!


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5 thoughts on “How to raise a juvenile delinquent

  1. The perfect Guide to child rearing. I do believe this must have been published as I know many who follow these tried and true ways – Congrats Sobria on another insightful look into the sad but real world.

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