Life ends…

Sad news..My husbands’ mother did pass away, as did his Nana the week before. It has been a very trying time for him and his entire family. 

 
I met his Nan in 2005. She was a sweet, little lady with a lot of energy. She played bingo everyday, ate like a horse at dinner and helped with all the cleaning up. She presented herself as the lady that she was. She dressed nice, wore a bit of make up and wore her jewelry. I adored her. It was sad when she passed..she had a sudden heart attack and though they tried with surgery to save her, it was her time. She will be missed by many, myself included.
 
I also met my husbands’ mom in 2005. She was always full of life and when she laughed, her whole face showed it. She was a Scorpio, so a spit fire as well!! Outspoken, true to her word and loved her children and grandchildren very much. She was generous and she was grateful.
 
In 2007 we had her over to our house for 2 weeks for a visit, that was when I got to know her best. I enjoyed those days and nights spending time with her and getting to know her better. It was sad to see her go back home, but before she did, she told my husband something that has stayed with me since, she said: “That was the first time that I have felt comfortable in anyone’s home, I enjoyed myself”. That meant a lot to me, considering 4 of those days she spent in the hospital with pneumonia. I tried very hard to ensure she was comfortable and that she had her meals on time, being a diabetic, that was very important.
 
In 2009 her health began failing, she was in and out of the hospital a few times.  I believe being a diabetic contributed to some of the issues that were going on. As her health waned, she was eventually deemed unable to care for herself in her own home and had to be placed in a care facility. Her needs went beyond what one or two untrained people could do. In recent weeks, she had stopped eating and drinking, while they tried a feeding tube, she pulled it out.
 
Eventually, they did get her back on track and then her mom died. The family had to tell her about her moms passing because they were worried a visitor might, and that is not the way for her to have found out her mother had died. She died in less than a week of finding out. I hope she is at a peaceful rest now.
 
I believe that she had taken all the hurt, pain and losses she could. Her husband died in 2003, then her partner who she had met in 2005 died in 2008, and her mom in 2012.  From past experience in dealing with a family member (from past marriage) who endured a leg amputation after her husband died, I can say that losing their dignity is awfully hard on them. While there is always the “will to live”, surly does not mean at any cost. The elderly, sick and injured, should be treated with the utmost respect and great care taken to help them maintain their dignity and keep their pride intact. I could not imagine going through such an ordeal with or without the grieving process of losing someone I love. 
 
Looking back on the many people who have died before me, whether they died young or old..it reminds me that life is so precious, it so delicate and it is not guaranteed for tomorrow. With that in mind, I beg you to live your life to fullest, love one another, be kind to one another and be kind to yourself. Laugh as loud as you’d like, smile as widely as you can..and when you pass on, know that people will remember you for who you were..not what you owned, not what political party you were in, not for anything but the way YOU made them FEEL. 
 
My husband and I plan to prepare for our own death, by picking out the music we want played, photos we’d like to be displayed and maybe even write down our thought for our own eulogy, put it all on a memory stick and give to our attorney with our will. 
 
I’ll be back to ranting real soon!!
 
Much love,
Sobria.
 

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