Do you struggle with guilt and worry? I have some advice and hopefully, it will resonate with you.
You may find at times that you struggle to like yourself, even though you know you’re a good person. As yourself, am I feeling this way or doubting who I am based on what someone thinks or I believe they think? Is it based on something said to me or repeated to me? Is it because I look back on some things I have said or done?
Pondering your value in Family, Friendships and Society.
Sometimes, this is important to do. Not because you need to be concerned about anything as your value is important regardless of how anyone feels. Yet sometimes thinking about it, helps your inner voice come out to tell you that you are worth far more than you will ever fully realize. If your inner voice isn’t saying that, you aren’t listening to your inner voice but your own opinion of yourself that you have taken on due to the opinion of another who is stronger than you are mentally and emotionally.
Something to Consider
We all have different people in our lives. The most important ones and often most undervalued are the uplifting friends, the ones who see how wonderful you are, who tell you how funny, smart and valued you are. You may tend to shrug it off thinking they are being too nice or maybe even think it is not sincere. Then we have the dimmed people, the ones who hurt us emotionally and in some cases, physically, they are the ones who tell you how stupid you are, ugly, and worthless and you believe them. Why?
The light and The Dark
If everything was Love and Light what would we learn about ourselves and others? Nothing. What would we overcome? There would be nothing to overcome. What would we do with our brains, emotions and intense desire to understand things and to figure things out? There would be nothing to ponder or come to terms with. As crappy as the darkness is, if we work through it we will, once again, come out the other end into the light.
Have I been there? You bet I have!
I have dealt with a lot of guilt, a lot of worry and yes people who make me doubt my self-worth, who have called me stupid, worthless, useless, and other foul names, the worst from people who were meant to love me, and said at other times that they loved me. We take what those people to heart and it is painful. We then try so hard to be who they want us to be, what they want us to be and some of us lost ourselves, truly who we were to never please a dark soul. Sure, they don’t talk to other people that way and have great relationships, so it must be me..right? Oh, you betcha it was me.
What about Me Though?
It was me because I would not violently react – it was me because I was willing to take it all in…sure I may have somewhat defended myself but after a while, you don’t bother to, they are free to bury you and you do nothing about it. You lose yourself – I just thought “I think Eminem sang about that but in a positive way.” anyway, the audio clip above is my thoughts on it, the clip is from me to you.
You don’t have to prove your worth to your friends and family that love and value you, so why even bother trying to prove it to someone who doesn’t even deserve your consideration? There are those who give constructive criticism, it is up you to decide if it is actually constructive or just a coy way by using the word “constructive” to insult you. The feeling in your gut when it is spoken tells you exactly what it is. If someone were to say to me ” Just some constructive criticism, you have terrible punctuation and aren’t a good writer, try this..” To me, that is constructive, it is offering me an alternative way. To simply say “you suck” in 20 words or less is not constructive.
Dealing with Guilt and Worry
What I have done is ask myself why did I do this or why did I say that? One at a time though, and don’t stop asking yourself why until you have an answer, from YOURSELF, don’t ask anyone else – only you really know. Was it out of anger? Jealousy? Were you under an influence? Was it retaliation? Do you think you should say sorry if you haven’t? If not that is perfectly fine. Just find out why and then not only say, but believe reliving the past and all of its mistakes keeps so much baggage on you, it is like carrying around poison. You are robbing yourself of true happiness.
Time alone does wonders. Really taking time out to be by and with yourself is so beneficial to you. No television, radio or phone. Just an hour or so every once in a while, I do it as often as possible. Get to know who you are, what you aspire to be, how you can accomplish it, realistically. If you are happy with who you are and aspire to just be a better version of you – which is something everyone should want – then make a plan to do it. The secret is a quiet time with yourself, listening to the wise advise that comes when you pose a question. That is