Becoming a better person and still ending my people-pleasing ways

Fake and Obsessed

They teach us so many valuable lessons..such as how NOT to be an over-bearing crab hole to our “friends”. They teach us to treat others with respect, fairness, and to deal with them honestly. They teach us how to behave, how to not to behave. They also teach us how to spot them if we look closer.

I’ve noticed that they normally do not have any close friends, you’re it!  You are the only one that they invite over or out..and they try and sometimes do, make you part of their household, even having the kids chum up to you. They really dislike past-friends and “confide” malicious gossip about them to you, whether you want to hear it or not. If at any time, you are not available to hang out, they try to not act offended, but they are and it’s obvious..because that is when the emails start coming in, and text messages to see if you’re alright..In reality, they know that you are because you simply stated you had other plans. The next time you hang out, they treat you differently and the next…almost as if you have done something to’s normally about this time you sense something is not right with this person or this couple and start your move to create space. This is when the really weird stuff starts.

My most recent fake, but obsessed, ex-friend is female, and married..she loves her fake nails, never wears the same outfit twice, and if she does, it is well disguised, tonnes of jewellery, funky hair cut and always, perfume..drinks like a fish, she can and does drink several beers a day/night and tops it off with a bottle or two of red wine, usually Merlot, and seems to function just fine…that speaks volumes for the years she must have been drinking this way..her eyes at times look dead…she is very jealous and apparently insanely insecure. I believe she is in love herself and with money and nothing much else. Very competitive with her spouse, children, and “friends”. She will initially present herself as the nicest person, who would never say “boo”, whose feelings are easily hurt and she is basically just a gentle person, which is the complete opposite of who she really is..I know, I’ve seen the temper first hand, I have listened to the hate spewing from her mouth over needy people..they infact, disgust her, someone that needs a helping hand is repulsive to her..and her husband seems to feel the same way, though I’d venture to guess he wouldn’t dare say otherwise.  This showed me how fake these people really are..when I’d met them, they pretended to have the same compassionate views on people, as my husband and I have. On many occasions, shopping was on the list of things to do on the weekend, where my “friend” would try to pick my clothes and outfits..No thank you, if I wanted to dress like I was 16 again, I would..I did not come out and say that; I instead said it wasn’t my taste, for my age.

A real friend will not try to change you, they do not become obsessed with you and all of your private business, they do not interfere with your life, they make it more enjoyable. They are there when you need them and know they can call upon on you if needed..a real friend generally has the same interests. And any friend of mine, most certainly cares about others, whether they know them or not, and will reach out to help someone in need.

Be selective when choosing your friends..stay away from the intense ones especially if what they say, does not match what they do.. if how they present themselves is in strike contrast to how they really live..if everything about them is, appearance, and friendliness…you’ve found yourself a fake and likely obsessed friend.

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