Becoming a better person and still ending my people-pleasing ways


Why can’t these little, beautiful, soft, sweet babies come with instructions?How much easier would parenting be, if before you left the hospital, you were magically delivered a manual that told you everything about your new baby, how it preferred to be held, when it wanted to be fed, if it would be stubborn and how to cope with that and how to still maintain the authority needed to make things right. If the child were to be too passive, how to teach it to be more aggressive in terms of not being a doormat, but certainly not a bully; if there were underlying issues for the potential to magnetize themselves to addictions, how to avoid that and keep the child on a clear path. Not to diminish the valuable lessons that mistakes teach us, because they are paramount, we need those lessons, however, it would be so great for parents to have a clue what you are capable of our dear child.

The mistakes we make with our children because we are doing it all, no matter how many you have, is on instinct but not based necessarily on the child’s real needs, and perhaps a personalised manual would help? Each child, if you have 1 or 7, are all uniquely different because they are individuals. They may resemble you both, but they aren’t you and realizing this is also paramount. They aren’t necessarily going to be like you, they may be the polar opposite, therefore having a plan, having some knowledge would help in so many ways. There are great parenting books, I know 🙂

Children tend to teach us..they teach us to play again, to find fun and humor in the little things, they teach us that a toothless smile is adorable and completely irresistible, that the sound of their cough or sneeze is enough to bring us to our knees with worry; that teething, though we don’t remember it — is hell..or for some babies, you never even notice they are cutting a tooth because they either deal with it better or simply do not go through agonizing pain in the process. They teach us that dirt is fun and crayons are magic..pots and pans are actually musical instruments and the toilet is for flushing everything that is unwanted or pretty cool to watch swirl around before it attempts to go down..they teach us that a midnight feeding is an opportunity to bond…and that cookie crumbs are fun to mash into anything! 

When the child is a tot, we wish they would learn all these things, such as talking, walking and eventually feeding themselves, we yearn at times for them to grow – DON’T – as they grow, the problems can too…Let them be a child, explore, wonder, learn and play!  My children mean nothing less than the world to me, so often I feel I have failed them, and in many ways, I believe I have. I did not have a manual, I was 17 when my first was born..I was 25 when my last was born. I was many times, a baby, raising a baby. Which brings me to say; read parenting books, take from them what sounds reasonable and feels comfortable for you – not everything in them is gospel…like I said, all children are individuals and one size does not fit all. Listen to your elders, they have great might seem “it’s not for you” when you hear it, but trust me, they have been there and done that! When in doubt? Consult your pediatrician, they can guide in you in many ways and I’m confident quite happy to and if they are not? Time for a new pediatrician. Love your children, praise them, guide them, by all means, discipline them (not abuse them)..teach them and you will have a child that can go out in this world and make his or her own way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *